Thursday, September 24, 2009

Lame ‘Wolverine’ fails to impress (2.5/5)

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston.
Directed by: Gavin Hood.
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of action and violence, and partial nudity.
Running time: 1 hour, 47 minutes.


That’s it. Hollywood has gone too far with the adaptations.

As a young writer, I used to envision my stories being converted to theatrical masterpieces. And now I can only groan as story after story, comic book after comic book gets torn apart and mutilated in the name of “blockbuster.”

Why take a story already known and loved and completely change it in the hopes of making a profit off steadfast fans who only feel beguiled and cheated?

I’ve never been a big comic book reader, but I understand the depths of characterization and nuanced plotline built over the decades of a comic’s life.

If all you had to go on was “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” you’d never even give the series a second chance.

The biggest question I was left with after renting “Wolverine” was an enormous “Why?” The first three X-Men movies were enjoyable enough and easy to follow.

Then you watch this one.

Not only does “Wolverine” cast itself in a horrific light, but it makes you question the other three as well. It has enough plotholes to drive a tractor trailer through and, from my understanding, totally maims characters’ relationships with each other. For example, turning Wolverine and Sabretooth into brothers.

The things that disappointed me most about this movie were:

• The supporting cast. There was a lot of potential here that was just plain flushed away. Although the movie is focused on one character, there are so many brief introductions that could have been expanded to give the film much more depth. Even Victor Creed’s character was lacking, turning him into a mindless villain.

• The cheeseball action sequences.

• Gambit. I was very excited to see what his character would be like (he was one of my favorites to play in the Sega Genesis version of X-Men) and ended up (surprise surprise) heavily disappointed.

• Kayla Silverfox. I had no love for her whatsoever, and I’m generally considered to be a sap.

• The wolverine and the moon story. It’s a trifle compared to the others, sure, but as far as I’m aware wolverines don’t howl at the moon.

• Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. Normally, I like Ryan Reynolds. And he actually does a fine job in his role. But he’s just one of those actors who will always be himself in my eyes and not the character he is portraying. Not really his fault, probably mine for countless viewings of “Waiting...” and “Just Friends.”

• Will.i.am. Yeah, seriously.

The positives of this movie, though few and far between, include Hugh Jackman’s performance (which was good considering what he had to work with) and the inclusion of Dominic Monaghan (“The Lord of the Rings,” “LOST”). Granted, Monaghan’s character was one of those shortchanged, but it was a thrill just to see him.

Unfortunately, there is a “Deadpool” movie planned for 2011 (in which Reynolds will star, as he will in the other 2011 superhero movie “The Green Lantern”...that’s right, kids, Van Wilder is going to be the Green Lantern). I see no swift end in sight for these plummeting superhero movies. As with “Spiderman,” had they just left it at 1 and 2 it could have been a fine duology, but they just had to go for that third one. And don’t even mention “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.”

“Wolverine” could have been awesome. Instead, it’s just another lame offering from Hollywood.

2 1/2 of 5 stars

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