Allen’s ‘Whatever’ draws a new fan (4/5)

"Whatever Works"

Starring: Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, Patricia Clarkson.
Directed by: Woody Allen.
Rating: PG-13 for sexual situations including dialogue, brief nude images and thematic material.
Running time: 1 hour, 32 minutes.

I’ll admit, I haven’t watched many Woody Allen films, but that’s more due to a lack of opportunity than anything personal against the guy. But if the latest “Whatever Works” is any indication, he may have found himself a new biggest fan.

The comedic Larry David, the mind behind “Seinfeld,” is the scathing, cynical, pessimistic, detached, self-described genius Boris Yellnikoff. He lectures his beliefs to his friends and leaves his former wife because they are too perfect for each other.

In all respects, Boris does not seem like the type of guy to take in any runaways. But when young, Southern Melodie St. Ann Celestine (Evan Rachel Wood) asks Boris for a place to stay and something to eat, he finds himself not only endeared to the know-nothing optimist, but married as well.

Boris charmed me right away by telling the audience off the bat, “I’m not a likeable guy. Charm has never been a priority with me. And just so you know, this is not the feel-good movie of the year. If you’re one of those idiots who needs to feel good, go get yourself a foot massage.”

David’s opening monologue direct-to-camera completely sold me (“You read about some massacre in Darfur or some school bus gets blown up, and you go ‘Oh my God, the horror,’ and then you turn the page and finish your eggs from the free-range chickens”). And the film is stuffed full of great, insightful lines, all executed in a way to keep you laughing from title to end credits.

This is a movie that could have quickly turned depressing and haughty, but the characters and witty dialogue manage to keep the film strangely upbeat while discussing the pointlessness of it all.

The real driving force behind the movie is the title, “Whatever Works.” It’s something like Boris’ mantra — he believes that people must do whatever works in life (without hurting anybody, he amends) to squeeze out any bit of love and happiness before the end. It’s quite a simple philosophy for a former string theory professor who repeatedly casts himself above the “inchworms” he shares a globe with, but, hey, whatever works.

This “moral” is demonstrated through all of the characters, but none moreso than Melodie’s mother Marietta (Patricia Clarkson), the bible-thumper-turned-bohemian-sexual-deviant. When she discovers the repressed artist inside with the help of Boris’ friend, her former identity melts away with unexpected and hilarious events.

Evan Rachel Wood (whom I loved in “Across the Universe”) was hilarious in the role of the perky dimwit. Although she adores Boris and quite possibly believes that he is the smartest man alive, she eventually learns that she has opinions of her own outside his circle of pessimism.

Many stodgy film critics gave this movie scorching reviews, but maybe they simply felt like the chess kids whom Boris verbally assaults. They also all seemed to have a problem with Boris’ shorts-wearing, so if any of you have an issue with shorts, this is apparently the stay-away movie of the season.

But for the rest of you who aren’t averse to seeing an old man’s knees, “Whatever Works” is worth watching. And, despite Boris’ warning, you may just end up feeling good afterward.

4 of 5 stars