Burton’s ‘Alice’ disappoints (2/5)

Alice in Wonderland

Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter
Directed by: Tim Burton
Rating: PG for fantasy action/violence involving scary images and situations, and for a smoking caterpillar
Running time: 1 hour, 48 minutes.

I should really know better than to get very excited over a movie, but, I’ll tell you, I was psyched about “Alice in Wonderland.”

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp? One of my all-time favorite director-actor combinations in film.

I’d even be willing to forgive them for the “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” fiasco if (and this is a very important “if”) they actually learned something.

They didn’t. And what was hyped to be one of the must-see movies of 2010 ended up being a complete dud.

The creative visionary behind such engaging films as “Beetle Juice,” “Edward Scissorhands,” “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and “Sleepy Hollow” has hit creator’s block.

And Depp’s talent is going to waste in an effort to be loyal to the man who springboarded his career.
“Charlie” showed us that Burton’s aptitude does not lie in remakes. He is simply too original of a man to contain himself in someone else’s creative mind.

But “Alice” should have worked. The storyline is as twisted as anything that Burton could come up with himself. And yet, it fell horribly, dismally flat. In 3-D, no less, proving that adding another dimension to the screen doesn’t add dimension to the plot.

Mia Wasikowski plays 19-year-old Alice, whose world is going just a little too quick. Too, she is plagued with nightmares of another land full of odd creatures. To escape the pressures of her world (namely an engagement to an unappealing aristocrat), she finds herself chasing a white rabbit down his hole into Underland, a world populated by such odd creatures as the deranged Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) and the literally big-headed Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter).

There is a prophecy to fulfill (isn’t there always?) in which Alice will be pitted against the fabled Jabberwocky during a battle between the Red Queen and the White Queen (Anne Hathaway).

But you know where “Wonderland” is headed from the opening credits. There are no moments of surprise or revelation. And, sadly, there is no imagination infused in this story based on a standard of fantasy.

The actors seem to know how expected and uninspired the plot is, because the characters reflect it perfectly. Wooden performances abound, and Hathaway’s Queen interpretation was perplexing and nonsensical … and not in the good “Alice in Wonderland”-type way.

Overall (and I really, really hate to say it), “Wonderland” lacks any real wonder. The plot is dull, the performances are stiff and the 3-D aspect adds nothing to the mildly decent visuals.

Mr. Burton, come back. We miss you.

2 of 5 stars